Feeling mentally exhausted at the moment.
Work is so full on. Everyone is stressy & grumpy. Its a really negative environment to be in at the moment. They’re all nuts as well with an agenda.
Today has been a pretty bad day for me.
Started off this morning fine, thinking “halfway through the week, woohoo”
Got to work and it just wasn’t playing ball.
This nasty girl I sit near was on form, she was arguing with me every time I opened my mouth. I could of said the world was shaped like a ball and she would of argued it was a square.
She’s so aggressive & intimidating, it makes me feel uncomfortable. It makes me angry that certain people just let her get away with it.
Then…. My manager took me aside and said she was disappointed in me and thinks I need to mature which she has said before but unfortunately it doesn’t happen overnight.
Kick a girl whilst she’s down eh?
I guess I was just feeling emotional today. My lenses were playing up but more importantly, I feel isolated at work. I feel like I can’t talk or trust anyone without it backfiring.
Hey ho. just a bad day. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
I came home, watched me before you and had a good cry which always helps 🙂
I recently had an annual review at work and was told I need to work on my maturity for work and personal
What does that mean?
Well, for personal to me it means growing up and pushing myself out of my comfort zone as much as I hate it because deep down, its good for you and you learn from it and become better.
Becoming less shy and timid and just going for it and to stop apologising for being me because I’m great and the world should know about it.
Work maturity, to me means behaving professionally and making the best of situations. Analysing them and removing myself if bad and managing others.
I need to change how I think and become more business oriented. Challenge accepted.
Now lets go out and own this weekend 🙂
I’ll never be able to do the last one but I can try on the others.
Number 1 is going very well, especially at work. I never realised I was surrounded by such petty people.
Its not even half 9 yet this morning and already one person is moaning about being told to water the plants as she overfed them.
“I never asked to do it, I was volunteered”. Dude, take some responsibility. No one cares if you want to do it or not. You’ve said you would so deal with it.
Don’t guilt trip me into thinking I should do it.
This is the same person who winds me up on a day to day basis. She’s a waste of time. She wants to be number one in all the guy’s eyes and doesn’t want us employing more women.
Urgh. I really dislike her. Which is a shame as I liked her when she first started.
Shame how opinions can change.
This post is going to sound silly. What’s the definition of brave? Dealing with a difficult situation. I know some people have it worse off than me and I’m not taking anything away from anyone.
I have a real issue with driving. It brings up my anxiety and makes me want to panic. I’ve spent the last few years getting better but every so often, in a difficult situation it will occur again.
Today was that day. We’ve recently had to change where we park at work now as where we work has literally no spaces anywhere unless we want to pay. Who wants to pay for parking? No-one. Especially when you don’t earn that much money, you don’t want to waste it on things like that.
I found a new place ok. But it was going over two mini roundabouts put together which stressed me a little bit as you have to look at every direction and decide whether people think they know who has right of way, etc. Then going down two shallow roads and eventually found a place.
I hope my car is ok. I hope she’s not been keyed or scratched. I hope no-one has parked too closely to me so I can’t move my car. This is what is going round and round my head at the moment.
Along with managing two jobs which my manager still doesn’t seem to appreciate or understand how hard I’m working. I’m enjoying my new responsibilities and I’m not moaning about working hard but it’s important to be noticed.
I’m just not in a very good mood today. I’m hoping something or someone will change that.
Unlikely for that to happen at work, the more I think about it… the more people I’ve learnt to dislike. There’s still this girl situation who keeps bringing up that I’m having a secret affair with someone in her team. SERIOUSLY. Just stop.
Here’s hoping to something nice happening. Sorry for the grumps.
I thought I was just over-thinking things, maybe I am… but there’s definitely something that doesn’t feel right.
I said recently that a girl at work who’s still fairly new seemed really friendly and nice. We get on quite well and went to lunch together but recently, she’s completely gone off me as if I’ve done something bad.
Now I know I have. Because it’s just getting worse. She’s very quiet throughout the day which is unlike her as she’s a loud, chatty person. She doesn’t include me in the tea&coffee round anymore which I think is quite petty.
I haven’t done anything wrong though. My instinct just tells me that she’s jealous. I’ve been here awhile and have my feet under the desk. I get on well with the majority of people and her team leader likes me more than her.
Reminds me of my school years when other girls became bitter due to certain girls getting more attention or thinking they’re better. I don’t think I’m better than anyone but I’m certainly not going to stop being myself. I’m a friendly, confident person. I like chatting to people.
I haven’t said anything to anyone at work as I don’t want to cause any unnecessary drama but it’s just quite pathetic. I thought she was going to be a good friend as we had a lot in common. Clearly not.
Any ideas on how I can make this better?
I love Peter Pan. Hence the photo above. It’s been my favourite film since I was a little girl. It just makes me really happy. I’ll be watching it a bit later to cheer myself up as I’ve had a bit of a shitty day.
The lady who’s job I’m taking over in the next month or so was off ill today so I had to deal with all this new stuff on my own which I still don’t really know how to do. It was not fun. The worst part was that the people I asked for help who are suppose to be my colleagues were just really unhelpful. Acting as if I should know it by now but I’ve only been training for 3 weeks and haven’t been taught every bit of the job yet. Give us a break.
Even two of my so called closer colleagues made the situation worse by not listening to my side of things and making my job harder. Really have had enough of some of these people. But the people I do like, I really like.
As it says at the top, “think a happy little thought”….
I had a nice manicure today at a different place on my lunch break. Was only £12 which is always good, love a bargain! Thought the lady did a pretty good job too. I know where to go if I ever fancy a little treat at work!
Been helping out another colleague today too who seems to actually appreciate it which is great. I like helping people but it sucks when they don’t appreciate it, especially if I’m going out of my way and doing someone’s job for them.
Back to happy little thoughts…
Going to watch Peter Pan in bed tonight, hoping to have a nice bubble bath and maybe cook a super healthy dinner so I can treat myself to a creme egg.
It’s a bad day, not a bad life. Hopefully tomorrow will be better 🙂