Mental Health Awareness

The fact there is still stigma around this is disturbing. It’s such a big thing these days. 1 in 4 people suffer with mental health. SUPPORT THEM.

I know quite a few people who I love dearly but just don’t understand mental health and that is okay, don’t get me wrong. But if you’re one of these people who just doesn’t understand it – ask if there’s anything you can do, ask for more information, do some research, talk about it…

I had a nightmare on this year’s World Mental Health Day. I went to one of the awareness courses through work and within about 20 mins I was in tears. I was in tears because out of 180 employees, only 20 showed up and not one single manager attended. I was in tears from hearing other people’s stories and feeling sad that they went through something like that. I was in tears from my own experiences with mental health. I was in tears because I was thinking of this time last year and how miserable I was and realising I shouldn’t of put up with it for as long as I did. I was in tears because I don’t know who to talk to sometimes and it makes me feel alone. I was in tears because I hadn’t had enough sleep and I just wanted to close my eyes. I was in tears because I’m doing too much and not having enough time to myself. I was in tears because I know I’m pushing myself too hard but I want to impress. I was in tears because I was meeting my potential future mother in law that evening and I felt & looked a wreck. I was in tears because my boyfriend was putting pressure on me to attend dinner as he was worried his mother would be judgemental about me not turning up. I was in tears because I felt my boyfriend was brushing over how I felt and didn’t think it was as important. I was in tears because I just wanted to talk to my mum who’s currently away on holiday. I was in tears because I just wanted to go home, hide in my bed and be on my own in the darkness.

I also know that feeling all of the above is ok. I was having a bad day. Maybe I shouldn’t of gone to the course but I want to help others and I want everyone to have the support they need, especially at work as we are there more than anywhere else.

I feel like I’m rambling a bit today but it’s getting it off my chest and it’s making me feel better.

Image result for mental health quotes

 

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Everything

This year has been a nightmare but also a dream. I’ve learnt so much about myself but only through the attempts of being broken.

One of the things I’ve learnt is how to manage my anxiety on a day to day basis. We all have good days & bad days. My mind likes to play tricks on me. It creates scenarios that never happened but tell me I should feel this way.

It’s not easy to get out of these moments. Sometimes it can be with a cup of tea or a nice long bath. Sometimes it can take hiding in a dark room or cancelling a few events so you feel you can breathe again.

I hate to be the person that is a flake but you have to be selfish. You have to take care of yourself because no one else is you. They don’t know you or what is good for you.

Trust yourself.

Stubbornness

I’m feeling this quote this morning.

I see stubbornness as a good thing. For me anyway. For example, I played twister over the weekend with friends which I haven’t done in years.

I had forgotten how tiring & difficult it can be but thanks to being stubborn, I powered through it and won.

Or with my new job, stubborn to do a good job and not to give it up just yet despite the frustrations & annoyance of new colleagues.

It can also work with relationships. I like to think I’ve managed to keep my boyfriend through constantly planning our weekends, nagging him & pestering. Pushing through the not so good parts knowing there will be better days for us.

Obviously it can be bad too if you have a bad attitude & are sticking with it or refusing to back down from a fight which should of never been a fight.

But as the quote says, sometimes in life… all you can do is hold on.

Stubborn – adjective- having it showing dogged determination not to change ones attitude or position on something. Especially in spite of good reasons to do so.

What & where?

I don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m at these days. 

I change my mind very quickly & never know which direction or choice to make. It’s scary, life is scary. You can make one decision & it can affect the rest of your life. 

This adulting life is bloody terrifying but I like to think deep down that we’re thinking & feeling the same. Some obviously deal with it or hide it better than others whereas some just completely lose it & turn into bad eggs. 

I’m not really sure what I’m trying to say. I guess, you’re not alone. Keep going, keep trying. It will be ok in the end, and if it’s not ok, then its not the end. 

Realisation

Everyone has their down days. But it’s true, you do need to move on. 

I found out today that my brother who’s learning to drive, had a crash in mum’s car. 

Straight away, it brought back all these horrible memories and my anxiety about driving.

Obviously this isn’t about me. Its about my brother and he’s ok. He’s a lot stronger than me mentally. 

It just made me think. Who do you talk to your feelings about? 

Family? 

I come from quite a hard, negative family whereas if you feel sad, you just get on with it.

Which isn’t a bad thing. It makes you strong but sometimes you need a moment.

Being sad doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.

Friends?

Not everyone understands mental health. Not everyone can help but they mean well. They don’t want you sad. They want you to be fun and excitable.

Work colleagues? 

Definitely not. Unless you’re close. Day to day people just don’t care. Which sucks but that’s how it is. 

Once you leave work, you won’t hear from them again.

Boyfriend?

Yeah,maybe. Supportive and kind. Available for cuddles and love. Similar to friends, wants you to be happy. 

I guess this post was just to say be sad but try not to let it beat you.