I very nearly didn’t make it into work today. I am absolutely knackered. I’m doing too much. Work is heavy. Social life is heavy. I just want to cancel it all and have a day in bed.
I made it in and cracked on. I feel like my manager is watching me a lot at the moment. Its irritating me. Does she not trust me? She gave me 6/10 recently which upset me. Does she think I’m rubbish at my job? Its a bit weird. I think I’m doing a good job. I might be overreacting, especially as I’m so tired.
Christmas is coming and I’m feeling a bit stressed about money. I know I shouldn’t but I like creating my own advent calendar which I’m trying to do. I’ve also ordered some outfits for the kids. Vinted is my new favourite app. Lots of second hand stuff. Cheaper and good for the environment. Win win
I was suppose to go for a run but I don’t feel up to it which means I won’t finish the couch to 5k before my holiday. Its ok. No need to put additional pressure on myself. My other half cooked dinner which was nice. I did some cleaning.
We’re going out next Friday with his old work lot. I don’t really want to go but I know it means a lot to him and I want to spend my night with him before I go away for 5 nights. I wish he was a bit more soppy but he’s like we just had a weekend away together. I’m like ok, thats definitely over now. We’ve barely had a cuddle or even touched since we’ve been home. It makes me feel a bit lonely if I’m honest. But I know he’s got a lot going on with his work and family. Things will get easier.
I’m not usually a commuter. My work is about a 10 min walk. So when I was asked to go to our Sheffield office in one day, I wasn’t overly keen. I would have to get up at 5:30am compared to my 8am and I wouldn’t be home until 9pm compared to my 5:30pm. I was not looking forward to it at all.
But. I did it.
My trip to Sheffield was tough and long but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. Getting up earlier was hard but I did it. I was worried about what food to have due to my lactose intolerance. I managed that by buying all the snacks the day before. I had 3 x sandwiches. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. I had flavoured water, fanta fruit twist and lots of snacks like vegan cheese and onion crisps, party rings and jammy dodgers. Sorted. I was anxious about getting the train during rush hour. I’ve traveled to London a hand few times in rush hour and it wasn’t a pleasant experience. I don’t like people being so close. But it was fine. My colleagues and I chatted lots. It was kind of nice actually.
The Sheffield office has a fun vibe. They are very casual. They even have a beer fridge. I had a few meetings to go to. Only one of them was a bit awkward so I’ll take that as a win. I spent most of my afternoon learning how to play poker. Felt a bit bad for the other two I traveled with as they were stuck working but more fool them.
We nearly missed our train home. That of would been frustrating. I was a bit disappointed that the Sheffield employee who was looking after us ordered a taxi for us to the station but didn’t stick around to make sure it turned up. Which it didn’t……Hey ho. We made it. We were all absolutely wiped. The chatting wasn’t as much. We did make a friend on the train though who was traveling to sweep the streets ahead of the Queen’s funeral in Westminster. Brave man but fair play to him.
Get home around half 8. I was absolutely knackered. My other half wasn’t overly supportive. He has long days all the time. All right tough time Tim. Give it a rest. I’m allowed to have a tough day.
One of my colleagues messaged to check I got home ok which was very sweet. Made me smile. Wanted to end this on a positive ā¤
After a tough day travelling for work, I had a long weekend booked off and I was off to Bournemouth with my other half. I was really looking forward to getting away from our daily life and having some time together to just chill and be happy.
I got home late the night before so it was nice to have a bit of lie in whilst he caught up on his work. Of course he could never book a day off and not do any work could he? Nutter. Anyway, I quickly packed and was ready to go. We had breakfast with my partner’s dad as we weren’t going to see him all weekend. A greasy fry up was a fab start to the weekend!
Just before we left, I went to a local cafe to pick up some vegan chocolate chip cookies to try. Due to my lactose intolerance, I haven’t found a great alternative to my usual favourite Flour Power cookies but think I now have. Say hello to Whisked Away. The cookies were so good. I hear she goes giant cookie cakes too which I will definitely be looking into for the near future.
Finally, off we went. The journey was about 1 hour and 50 mins. Not too bad. We were staying at a Premier Inn, mostly because the price was good and there was a cheap carpark next to it. Ā£5 for 24 hours. We were staying for 3 nights so Ā£15 in total. Not bad at all.
I spoke too soon. Our room wasn’t ready so we went for a walk to the sea and back which was nice. We’re not too far away. When we finally got into our room, it hadn’t been cleaned. Bed was half stripped, used mugs with coffee in them and the bin was full. Nasty. Not very impressed. Went back to reception, didn’t care what room we had as long as it was clean with a bed. We got there eventually. Found some time to relax together before he started working š
I tried not to get annoyed. I think he quite liked that I was in our bed with no clothes on just waiting for him to return whilst he got some work done. Little bugger.
After I dragged him away from his work, he wanted to watch the football the first night. Super romantic. It kind of worked though as I was a bit tired from driving and the day before from work so it was ideal to just chill. We went to the local Walkabout which is a sports bar. The waiter was rude and miserable. I had the worst Long Island Iced Tea I’ve ever tasted in my life and the food made me sick. Wouldn’t recommend. At least my other half’s team won so that was something.
Next day was MUCH better. We both woke after a good night’s sleep. We had a spring in our step. Wink wink. Just what we needed.
We couldn’t decide where to go for breakfast so we just downstairs at the Premier Inn. Ā£9.50 for an all you can eat cooked breakfast, would be rude not to. Food was pretty good too. Super chilled. We walked into town and had an explore. Everything was within a 20-25 min walk which was cool. We looked at some shops and near the sea again. Walked through some pretty gardens. We ended up in the Aquarium which was reasonably priced. We both love animals. We saw fish, otters, penguins, all sorts. The otters were our favourite bit as we got to see them being fed which was cute. I even managed to get through a gift shop without buying anything!!
We then went to a local pub for more football. This pub was much better than the night before and it meant I could have some wine and read my book so it was a win win. After the football, we went into town to buy some bits. I wanted some bath bombs so we went to Lush, such a great shop. We also went to Sports Direct to get some shorts and a top for me to swim in as I didn’t realise that swimming in the sea was on the agenda. I didn’t come prepared. No towel, no swimsuit. Oops. I found some bits that I could make work.
Swimming in the sea mid-September is not for the faint hearted. I’m surprised my other half was keen on this as he is usually always cold but I’m really glad we did it. It was very refreshing and fun. Would highly recommend. It was cold but our bodies soon got use to this. My favourite part was my top went see-through and my other half is such a prude, he was so embarrassed. It made me laugh a lot. He’s so silly. I did manage to cover myself up.
After swimming, we couldn’t be bothered to get changed so we walked in our swimming stuff (I was wrapped in the towel to avoid exposure). We both had a shower each, warmed up and went back to the pub we were at earlier this afternoon for food, football, book and drinks. After being sick the night before, I wasn’t very hungry so I just had some chicken strips and a few glasses of wine. I did feel a bit tiddly but felt a bit better. I was really enjoying just spending time together just the two of us. Even with the football on, we were still together at a pub interacting. Usually if he watches football at home, I’m not allowed to be in the same room or he just ignores me.
Neither of us are big drinkers so we ended up having an early night which I think he was a bit disappointed in but I was quietly grateful. I’ve had a full on week and haven’t really stopped so it was nice to get some time to just be in bed, have a cuddle and watch some rubbish tv.
Sunday was also a good day. We had breakfast at the hotel again. Don’t fix what ain’t broke. We went for a wander afterwards and then we visited a cat cafe.
I love cats and I really miss having one. Unfortunately we can’t have pets in our flat which I’m hoping to use to my advantage this time next year where I can convince my other half to buy a house so we can get some cats.
Anyway, I’ve been to a cat cafe before in London which I liked and I found one in Bournemouth too. This one was a lot smaller and cheaper but I still really enjoyed it. Look how cute our hot chocolate and latte were! There were 11 cats in total. They weren’t overfriendly which was a shame but you can’t make a cat come to you. I did have a cuddle with one ginger kitty called Max which was lovely. Would definitely go again but maybe at a different time to see if they are a bit more lively.
After the cat cafe we went back to the seaside to do more swimming. I wore a bra this time so I was less exposed which helped my other half relax a bit. I did play a joke on him whilst in the sea. The shorts I bought didn’t fit very well and were digging in so I took them off and made out I was half naked in the sea. To my joy, he reacted exactly as I expected. All concerned and embarrassed. Bit mean of me but it was very funny. When he realised I had underwear on, he saw the funny side and was laughing too. I can’t stress enough how refreshing and relaxing it was to be swimming in the sea. We both really enjoyed it and I hope to come back in the future (more prepared) and do this again.
After swimming, we went back for showers and a cuppa in the room. One thing we hadn’t yet done was go to the arcades so we walked back to the seaside. Lots of steps this weekend! The arcades were a little disappointing. The prizes weren’t that great. We ended up playing on a 2p machine and won a bouncy ball, a bracelet and a big sweet. I lost about Ā£10 but we both enjoyed the entertainment. We usually go for the crane machines but there was only one prize we wanted and someone had just won one so we knew we could waste Ā£30 and still not win so it wasn’t worth it. Money is tight but we’ve still managed to have a great weekend without spending too much.
We headed back to hotel, feeling a bit peckish and asked to order some food to the room. Due to Covid, we had to take it ourselves which is fine. Unfortunately they got our orders a bit wrong which wasn’t ideal but we made it work. We like room service in hotel rooms. Part of the experience we think. Another early night but I knew my other half would want to get up early and go home tomorrow. I think its a type of anxiety where he knows he has a long journey to do and with work the next day, he just wants to get home as soon as possible so he has as much time to chill and prepare for the next day. I get it but it also means the holiday bubble ends quicker which makes me sad. I never like coming home.
Next and last day in Bournemouth, as expected – he wanted to get up and go. Our parking ran out at 10am so it was good timing I guess. I made sure I had some food before we headed off. This was the same day as the Queen’s funeral. I was upset when I first found out about her passing away. I even had a little cry. I did want to watch the funeral but I knew it would just upset me. We ended up travelling whilst it was on so the roads were a lot clearer which made it a good, quick journey.
Once we were home, we unpacked and started a load of washing. We then had a little walk as my other half wanted a smoke. I was feeling sad as we were home and I knew he would go back to doing his own thing. I don’t feel neglected but we don’t spend as much time together cuddling and chatting on a day to day basis and I knew as soon as we were home, he’d want to watch his tv so I’d be in the other room doing my own thing to. I’m soppy, I know.
I was feeling a bit anxious too about going back to work, bit like Sunday night anxiety and I also had a parcel delivered to work over the weekend when no-one was there so I wasn’t sure how it got delivered. I wondered if it was just left somewhere. I live close by so I walked over but couldn’t see anything. Hoping someone has picked it up and put in the building.
As I got home, I made a cuppa and sat in bed watching my tv for a bit. After awhile I got bored so I went for a run as I’m doing the couch to 5k at the moment. I thought it would be difficult after not doing a run for a few days and not eating great but it was actually a really good run. My first 28 min one. Woohoo.
Overall, we had a lovely time away. I’m sad its over and we’re back to normal but I need to concentrate on the good as I’m a bit of a miserable cow sometimes.
It was so hot last night. I felt like I couldnāt cool down. My anxiety was high. Tuesday night anxiety is the new Sunday night anxiety.
Wednesdays are my course days. Iām working from home to hide from managers & distractions. I thought it would be too warm but was actually reasonable. Had a productive morning. Got some work done and had a good call with my skills tutor. It does feel weird working from home. Especially when Iām just in little shorts!
At lunch, I walked into the office and had a PT session. I always feel sore but really good after. Sheās great. I probably bore her to death with all of my anxious thoughts. But I think she gets it. Itās nice having someone to chat to. She pushed me hard with the weights today. I am sore but feeling strong. Hopefully I will see it in the mirror soon!
Didnāt get as much done this afternoon. I was warm and tired. Oops. I donāt skive off very often but it was nice to be kind to my mind.
My other half came home early. He was a bit grumpy so was planning on leaving him to it as per but after an hour or so, he sat next to me in bed and things escalated hehe it was so good. We havenāt been close much lately due to work and stresses and the heat. I worry about our relationship sometimes but tonight helped. Weāre the sort of couple that appreciate time to ourselves but we do need some together!
My only disappointment for today was that when I was telling him about my anxiety for my course or the fact I had a binge eating moment last night, he kind of just ignored it/played it down. He actually got some snacks out and was eating them in front of me. It made me think does he care or is he just oblivious? I think itās the latter š trying not to take it personally šŖš»
Overall, a be kind to your mind kind of day and I feel happy š
I had a bit of a wobble last week. Over the last year, work has been difficult and is taking over more than I would like. I’m not a career person, never will be but I am learning so much here. They are pushing me out of comfort zone which is good but they are ALWAYS pushing. It never stops. I need them to let me just do my thing and let me get back in the comfort zone before pushing me out again. At least I think they think I’m doing a good job so that is something but I need to get back to me. Not relaxed as I’m not a very relaxed person but a more relaxed person than I currently am.
A lot has happened recently. After 3 years of misery, we finally moved into our own flat. Just the two of us. I do love our flat. Its so lovely. We have our own space, can walk round with little clothing on which is important in this kind of weather!! Its not perfect though. I always thought it would make us stronger or closer. Its done neither. We’re both struggling with life a bit at the moment and just not spending much time together. Maybe we just need a bit of space. We’re both worried about money. The flat is expensive. Its hard. We will be ok. Just need a few quiet weeks. Holding on….
I was very anxious last week. My apprenticeship through work is becoming a bit much. I feel like I can’t give it a proper go as I just don’t have the capacity for it. My manager’s manager has given me this stupid project which is taking up too much time. I should be using that time for my course. Maybe I will one day if it ever ends but he set me off. He was pushing for numbers on this project when I was having my apprenticeship day. I told him that my out of office was on and that I wasn’t looking at my emails. He got a bit shitty. How the hell am I suppose to do this. This is why I wanted to take a break from my course but I’m stubborn, I want to keep trying. It will get easier. I definitely do not want to do it after work or at the weekend despite my manager suggesting it. No. I don’t get enough time to myself as it is. NO.
I was pretty tired from the night before. I had an anxiety attack in the middle of night. It was horrible. I woke up that morning feeling sick and trembling. I couldn’t shake it so I went home and tried to feel a bit more human. I wanted to hide and curl up and heal. It did help. There definitely should be a thing called a mental health day when you’re not feeling yourself.
I just feel like I’m in a bit of a vicious cycle at the moment. I was doing well with my exercise. I haven’t lost any weight but can see I’m toning up a bit. Need to keep pushing but I feel so tired because I’m feeling so anxious at the moment. My sleep is up and down. One day I’ve slept well but am still tired. The next I’ve had an awful night sleep.
On the plus side, I had a lovely afternoon off with one of my best friend’s the following day. It was her birthday and she’s had a hell of a time lately. I feel awful in comparison moaning about my little life.
It was just amazing being able to have a glass of Prosecco, sit on a sun bed and just chill. We had some good heart to hearts. I feel so comfortable around her. I could say anything and she wouldnāt judge. Sheās pretty great. I sometimes think weāre soul mates š
We chatted for hours! Itās tiring sitting round and chatting away. One of my favourite moments was at the end of our session where we sat in a silent room on these hot stone benches. It was so relaxing. Can I go every week please?? Asking for an anxious girlā¦
I had a bit of a panic this week. It happens. I get a bit down in the dumps sometimes as I’m not far away from turning 30 and I just feel a bit disappointed in where I am in life right now. When I was a teenager, I thought I’d have my own house by now and maybe be engaged.
I think the trigger that made me panic was that our landlord who lives with us in our shared house decided to re-decorate the lounge which is absolutely fine but I work from home in that room and no-one really bothered to tell me. My boyfriend told me a day or two before it was happening and it means I can’t work from home there for a bit. I just feel a bit put out, if that was me and I knew I was disturbing someone I would of sat them down and told them face to face but maybe that’s just me.
I’ve always wanted my own space. It’s just so expensive and I’m getting to stage where I almost just don’t believe it will ever happen again. It makes me sad. I just want somewhere to call my own.
I’m not really in the best position for it anyway. I’m on a temporary contract work wise which could end in the next few weeks and my boyfriend isn’t working. Still. Don’t get me started. I don’t want to push him because I know life is a bit all doom and gloom at the moment but I don’t feel like he’s trying as hard as he could. I know as soon as I say something it will cause an argument and I just don’t have the energy for it. I’m barely keeping it together as it is. We’re getting on well which is great considering I moved in properly during lockdown so it could of gone either way but I’m happy. He makes me happy but I’d be happier if he put more effort into finding a job. We could start getting back on the right path in life.
No wonder I feel so tired at the moment with all of this going on in my head but the point of writing this all down is so I can put my thoughts into some of order. I know I’m okay, deep down I do. I have a roof over my head with food and water, etc. I am lucky. I have a job (for now) and have money coming in to pay for things. I need to remember that I’m okay. Yes I don’t have the house or a ring but I’m good, really… I’m okay.
Things I’m grateful for today:
Having pretty nails (currently blue and sparkly!)
My parents living close by so I can work from home from theirs
Baths
Bath bombs
Being able to read books
Harry Potter
Having a job
Work being quiet so I can relax a little
All the presents I’ve bought myself for my own advent calendar I’m creating
Parcels – always exciting when parcels arrive
Cats
My dad who is letting me disrupt him working from home
My boyfriend putting up with my nonsense
Having a good relationship with both my boyfriend and family
Just looking through my most recent posts and there’s definitely a theme. I’m grumpy and trying to be more grateful. I also worry a lot. This has not changed over lockdown at all.
Last week a colleague at work gave me a Ā£30 voucher for a shop called Home Sense. It was extremely kind of them. They weren’t going to use it and it expired in a few days. They knew I would put it to good use and I did. I messaged one of my friends whoā¦
I made it in and cracked on. I feel like my manager is watching me a lot at the moment. Its irritating me. Does she not trust me? She gave me 6/10 recently which upset me. Does she think I’m rubbish at my job? Its a bit weird. I think I’m doing a good job.ā¦
I’m not usually a commuter. My work is about a 10 min walk. So when I was asked to go to our Sheffield office in one day, I wasn’t overly keen. I would have to get up at 5:30am compared to my 8am and I wouldn’t be home until 9pm compared to my 5:30pm. Iā¦
I’m trying to get a better control of my worries and grumpiness. I lost it a little bit of the weekend. I just felt very unhappy with how my life is. I turned 27 this year and maybe I was naive but I thought I’d have my life together a bit more by now. I thought I’d at least have my own house. I didn’t realise how difficult it would be. I’m hoping I’ll get there one day but I’m just craving my own space right now.
I live in two houses, my parents and my boyfriend’s. My parents house is the home I grew up in. It’s special. My boyfriend’s house is shared with another couple. This is not my home. If I’m being honest, I hate this house. Nothing about it is mine. I have no control. I feel trapped sometimes. I can’t even have a bath here as the plumbing is dodgy. My boyfriend doesn’t get it, he’s been here for 5 years and is comfortable. I’m hoping to get him out of this house one day.
He’s not helping at the moment. He doesn’t have a job at the moment. We both left the company we worked for at the end of last year. We both were planning on having a month or two off. That didn’t happen. I fell into a job within a few weeks and he’s still not working. It’s been 9 months. His mental wellbeing wasn’t great from his last job so I expected him to have a few months off, but then Covid hit. Life is slowly coming back to normal but he still doesn’t seem motivated to get back into it. I’m trying to be supportive and understanding but you can’t just not work. He needs a kick up the ass which I’m providing every so often.
I have a job. I was only suppose to be here for 2 weeks. It’s now been 8 months. I do like it, I’m enjoying what I’m doing. Most of the time. It’s definitely 80/20 which is healthy. Every day can’t be great. The thing that bugs me is that I’m a temp. A contractor. I get paid weekly instead of monthly. I don’t get sick pay and I get limited holiday pay. It’s not ideal. I keep pushing to be made permanent but I think if it doesn’t happen soon, I may have to start looking elsewhere. I need to feel secure in at least one part of my life and this one looks to be the easiest at the moment.
I do feel secure in some parts of my life. My relationship is in a good place considering we’ve been in lockdown together and he’s not working. We’re doing good. I’ve also lost nearly a stone since the start of lockdown so it’s not all doom and gloom.
You know what’s coming…. the list of what I’m grateful for. Right now.
I’m grateful for:
Having a job especially as a lot of people have been furloughed/made redundant
Enjoying my job 80/20 of the days
Being able to support both my boyfriend & I money wise
Being able to buy myself treats (who else is going to?)
Music
Walks
The weather cooling down, I’m definitely more of an Autumn/Winter person
Being able to lose some weight, hope that scale keeps going down
Enjoying exercising again
Having pretty nails
My mum – she’s pretty cool most of the time, she surprised me with a massage a week or two ago
My boyfriend – he’s a pain sometimes but he’s a good egg really, he puts up with my nonsense
Acknowledging my anxiety and being able to work on dealing with it
Being able to live with my boyfriend even if it’s not our place
Being able to go back to my parents when I need some peace and quiet
I am feeling very grumpy today. More than usual. My boyfriend was irritating me as we woke up this morning. My manager is irritating me for not taking my concerns seriously. I just want to go back to bed and start again.
This is a time where more than ever, I need to get over myself. So definitely in need of starting a what to be grateful about right now, even if it’s super difficult to be grateful about anything sometimes:
I’m grateful for:
Having the ability to work from home
Having a lie in from not having to travel to the office
that my manager can’t hear me moan about her
coffee
Cats
Fluffy dressing gowns
Having a mother who tells you how it is, especially when you don’t want to hear it
A boyfriend who doesn’t put up with my shit
still having said boyfriend
Autumn leaves looking pretty
having a sense of humour
not having too much to work to do
being able to do my job well
controlling my anger
not killing anyone
knowing that I need to sort myself out
knowing that I can rely on myself to be better
still trying
feeling good after a run in the rain
remembering I have 2 days of annual leave left to book š
This quote sums me up right now. I just don’t know anything about everything.
My main big I don’t knows are about my job and my boyfriend.
My job is a bit of a nightmare at the moment. We’ve just moved offices from a town to a city. The commute itself isn’t that bad unless you miss a train like I did this morning. It makes the day A LOT longer. Getting up earlier in the morning is killing me. We’re still learning our way around the office and where IT have moved everything.
I do like my actual job. I’m an Admin Assistant in our Onboarding department. It’s my first step closer to HR which is good but our processes just don’t work. Our Finance Director is so busy she never has time to approve the job offers or equipment orders. This then delays our Security team being able to do their thing and they require at least 2 weeks to get anything done. After that, it also delays our equipment arriving in time for our new starters. What a great start to a new company if you have no equipment to do your job on. Not.
I’ve mentioned it to my manager who is only recently my manager as the other one left during the move. She’s also super ridiculously busy and doesn’t really have time for my moans. I did explain that nothing is getting done and it feels like my job is just not working. She tried her best and it fixed things for about a week. She then had a week’s annual leave and we’re back to the same shit. I can’t keep moaning at her. She doesn’t do emotions.
I’m getting a bit fed up of just being moaned at too which is ironic as I’m doing a lot of moaning at the moment. But as soon as there is a problem, it comes straight to me and it’s my job to fix it. I appreciate that these situations are frustrating and stressful but there’s no need to take it out on me when I’m doing my best and it’s not even my fault to begin with.
Another disadvantage to my job is that I see one of my close friends everyday. I love her to bits, I’ve known her since I was a little girl and she helped me out by sending on my CV to get this job in the first place but she’s driving me a bit mad. She doesn’t leave me alone. She’s obsessed. I don’t like seeing people everyday. What else is there to say? Her boyfriend works here too. He literally doesn’t speak. Or if he does, it’s through her. She doesn’t leave him alone either. I can see a pattern. Maybe she’s feeling vulnerable and wants to be with everyone all the time? I don’t know….
My boyfriend also works here which is where I met her so I can’t complain too much. I’m very grateful for my job for that. He’s a good boy, most of the time. I just find him a bit confusing at the moment. He has quite a busy, important role in our Finance department so we don’t really talk much at work which deep down I know is a good thing. We don’t want to be that couple that is together all the time but he just doesn’t seem very enthusiastic about much at the moment. Every time we have a free evening/day he just wants to chill and watch the football which I understand but we can’t do this all the time surely? I basically live with him so maybe he’s feeling smothered? I don’t know. I’m going home tonight so maybe that will help.
It might be good for me to be on my own for a night. Have a nice, dreamy bath and just relax. I do love him but I wish he showed a bit more interest sometimes. I occasionally feel like his order of priority is: work, smoke, his phone, football than me. At least I’m in the top 5, better than my last boyfriend at least but still. I want to feel wanted and it’s lacking at the moment.
Blimey – no wonder I’m so tired at the moment if I’ve got all of these thoughts going through my head.
I’m trying to lose weight but I’m not putting in enough effort. I’ve signed back up to the gym but it’s my diet that is an issue. I was being good until I had a Dominos last night. The reason we ended up ordering food was because my boyfriend’s housemate and girlfriend took over the kitchen with their cooking. They take hours to cook things so we never stood a chance. Maybe I should learn to be more patient but I got home and just wanted to eat and there they were. Grrr. They are nice people so I shouldn’t be too grumpy about it but they do get in the way.
I’m desperate for my own place. I’ve been wanting my own flat for so long. I like living with my boyfriend but it’s not my house. It will never will be. It’s his room so I can’t ask him to clear out some of his shit. They don’t have a microwave which is pure madness. They don’t even have a proper boiler so I can’t have a bath unless I want a lukewarm one. Who wants a lukewarm bath??? Their showers are out of this world. You either get burnt alive or it’s freezing cold. There’s no in between and you can’t turn it down or up. Helpful.
I’m so glad I’m going on holiday in 7 and a half working days time. I think it’s needed so I can rest the worried, full of anxiety and worries head.
First of all – cracking film. Second, what a good quote.
I’ve been working my ass off this week. I’ve been attempting to do my day job whilst covering reception. Let me tell you, what a ball ache that is. Every time I’m in the middle of something, the phone goes or a visitor appears and I have to sign them in. Then I forget what I was doing and it’s a vicious cycle.
I like to think I’m doing ok but you should never assume these things.
One of the things I’ve made myself do whilst I’ve been on Reception is look around and chat to people walking past. Break up the day and make the day that bit more bearable.
I’ve learnt that I actually get on well with 80% off people. I’ve been stopping people whilst they walk past, asking how their day is day is. Sometimes people do let a bit steam off but I also get a few smiles and a life story every so often.
I’ve been working on my positive thinking this week as it has been tough trying to cope under pressure but I know for a fact that I have done my best. Maybe not so much towards the end of the week where I’m trying to relax a bit.
Every time someone has asked me how I’m doing, I try to say “yep, struggling a bit but powering through” or “I’m doing ok, nearly Friday”. It sounds a lot better then reminding myself that I’m feeling overwhelmed and tired.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m knackered. I was asleep by 09:30pm last night on Valentine’s Day. (my poor boyfriend!). But sometimes work can be a bit of nightmare and take it out of you. You just need to remember that we are here so we can afford to live. Not live to work so I’m hoping once I finish up, I will have a few wines tonight or do some gentle exercise to wake me up.
I’m quite excited for my weekend. Valentine’s Day didn’t quite go to plan so should be cooking dinner tonight. We grabbed a M&S deal with included a starter, main, side, dessert and a bottle of something which may be too much but I’d rather have too much than not enough.
Tomorrow I’m going into London and staying the night as I’m seeing Wicked which I’ve seen like 5 times before but it’s just so good.
My birthday is coming up and there is loads planned. It’s not even a big one but I love just using it as an excuse to do stuff.
I’m rambling now. It’s been awhile since I’ve done a post.
outofsightoutofhere 