mental

All posts tagged mental

Trust yourself

Published May 24, 2017 by katee124

Long time no see. 

Its important to be able to trust yourself as at the end of the day, you are all you have. 

Just today alone I’ve had a few experiences where I’ve been made to feel bad about just acting as myself or feeling a certain way or even voting for a certain party in a certain election. 

My message here is, you do you. No matter what. It’s alot easier to be you than pretend other wise. 

Everyone is different, sure but we’re all our own people with our own thoughts, feelings and decisions. 

The amount of abuse I’ve seen lately about people voting for parties in this election is horrendous. 

The important thing is to vote. Vote for who you believe in or their policies. Everyone is in a different situation hence the different parties. 

Please stop the hate. Encourage to vote. Encourage to educate unbiased information. The BBC website is perfect for this. 

There’s too much hate these days, let in the light. 

Bad day

Published February 1, 2017 by katee124

Today has been a pretty bad day for me.

Started off this morning fine, thinking “halfway through the week, woohoo”

Got to work and it just wasn’t playing ball.

This nasty girl I sit near was on form, she was arguing with me every time I opened my mouth. I could of said the world was shaped like a ball and she would of argued it was a square. 

She’s so aggressive & intimidating, it makes me feel uncomfortable. It makes me angry that certain people just let her get away with it. 

Then…. My manager took me aside and said she was disappointed in me and thinks I need to mature which she has said before but unfortunately it doesn’t happen overnight.

Kick a girl whilst she’s down eh? 

I guess I was just feeling emotional today. My lenses were playing up but more importantly, I feel isolated at work. I feel like I can’t talk or trust anyone without it backfiring. 

Hey ho. just a bad day. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. 

I came home, watched me before you and had a good cry which always helps 🙂 

Grateful

Published January 20, 2017 by katee124

I’ve been good lately. Too good. Until yesterday. 

Had a bit of a moment in the bath. Suddenly released what I’ve become so good at blocking in my mind. 

I felt extremely stressed, overwhelmed and exhausted. 

It’s not easy to get out of so here’s a list I wrote of things to be grateful about. 

– flowers, they’re so pretty and yes they die but then you can more prettiness

– cats, so fluffy and purry and cute 

– love, its lovely when someone loves you and you love then. Relationships, friendships, family

– music 

– makeup, nothing a bit of lipstick can’t do to make you own the day 

– rivers, with all their animals and plants and boats 

– food, creme eggs chicken nuggets Turkey dinosaurs sausages smoky bacon crisps 

– smiles 🙂 

– clouds 

That will do for now. 

Useless

Published December 8, 2016 by katee124

My sinuses have been playing up alot the last few weeks so have been in bed poorly.

It has made me feel very useless  

I tried helping out today by putting up Christmas decorations, emptying the bins & putting some washing on  

I got told by my darling mother that I had put the decorations wrong and they look silly.

I got told that I should of separated stuff to recycle and I hadn’t put all the washing on  

I’m not being a brat but where’s the thank you for attempting? I’m sorry I’m not as bloody perfect as my mother.

I love her to bits but she does my nut in sometimes. She doesn’t help with my confidence or anxiety  

Parents

Published October 25, 2016 by katee124

The above photo was me this morning. 

Mum & I haven’t been getting on very well the last few weeks. 

She calls me high maintenance and I think she’s a negative influence. 

You should choose your fights carefully but its difficult. 

She doesn’t understand my anxieties and I’m expected to just get on with life as I’m the stable child apparently. 

My little brother currently has a sore back from whiplash so he can’t move around much but can go clubbing? Hmm. 

He’s also at a shitty job which he chose. He has a psycho girlfriend which he chose. Who has a baby with another man whilst dating him which he’s now choosing to bring up. 

See a pattern? He chose these things and he says he’s happy for it which is great but he’s still the special one. 

The older I get, the more I get fed up of this and feel myself distancing away from my family.

I really can’t wait to have my own place. 

On a lighter note, I’m very lucky to have such a lovely, supportive boyfriend and some great friends who keep me in check. 

Plain stupid or is there something wrong? 

Published September 12, 2016 by katee124

I recently went to a party on a Friday night. 

It was going well. Few drinks, good company and a Chinese takeaway for dinner, yum. 

Then the game “cards against humanity” came out…. 

I hate this game. Not because I’m sensitive, but because it reminds me how I felt at school.

Reading in front of the class and mispronouncing words or not knowing what they mean. 

It sucked. Big time. 

I mispronounced a word and everyone laughed. Yes I’m being sensitive but it upset me. School was tough for me and it hit a sore spot. 

I wasn’t even sly about it, they all knew it upset me. 

It just made me think “am I stupid or is there something wrong?” 

I’ve always struggled with the English language. Especially pronouncing words, it just gets a bit muddled in my head.

Does this mean I have a type of dyslexia? I don’t know. 

Can any of you out there offer any advice? 

Instinct

Published June 20, 2016 by katee124

I wrote this on the journey back from Alton Towers on my phone due to no signal.

I was trying to keep calm about being stuck in the car for so many hours and not being listened to.

ANYWAY…

I recently went away for a few days with my boyfriend and some friends.

I’ve learnt a lot.

One of them is that I’m not very tolerant of people and am extremely lucky to have a brilliant boyfriend who puts up with me.

We went to Alton Towers and we were just about to go on the Smiler which I was having massive doubts about.

I know I was being silly. All rides are dangerous and a potential risk but the reputation of this ride and the recent accident with it was all I could think about.

I didn’t want to lose a leg or have something horrific happen.

It didn’t help that it looks fairly creepy too but basically I had a bit of an anxiety attack and just couldn’t go on it.

Luckily, my boyfriend sensed almost straight away and knew I wasn’t happy. So he grabbed my hand and took me away from the ride 🙂

My friends called me a coward but I didn’t care. I wasn’t happy so I didn’t do it.

I don’t regret it at all. Even if it meant missing out on a supposed good ride.

Always listen to your instincts.