I don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m at these days.
I change my mind very quickly & never know which direction or choice to make. It’s scary, life is scary. You can make one decision & it can affect the rest of your life.
This adulting life is bloody terrifying but I like to think deep down that we’re thinking & feeling the same. Some obviously deal with it or hide it better than others whereas some just completely lose it & turn into bad eggs.
I’m not really sure what I’m trying to say. I guess, you’re not alone. Keep going, keep trying. It will be ok in the end, and if it’s not ok, then its not the end.
Back at work, I’m just looking around and I like to think I get on with the majority of people.
I’m quite shy deep down so I try and practice my people skills when I can but some people I just can’t click with.
One of those people unfortunately is my manager. We just don’t get eachother at all. He’s Mr army who doesn’t do feelings or anything personal. He’s all business. Whereas I’m full of feelings and being personal. I’m also slightly high maintenance and like to be told I’m doing a good job which he doesn’t do.
I don’t think I’m that hard work. I just like reassurance that I’m doing ok. But with him, no news is good news.
It’s taken about 3 years but I think or hope I’ve finally accepted that not everyone is going to like you and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Just concentrate on those you love and those who love you back.
Back to one of my previous posts about who are your real friends? Still having a similar problem at work. I think maybe I’m too nice and think the best of people.
A girl who started a few months ago who started off being really nice, the sort of person who was going to become a quick close friend has recently started acting a bit off.
I have no idea why but she’s not coming to any social gatherings, not even coming to the pub on a Friday lunchtime which I know she loves doing. She’s isolating herself and chatting to everyone in our room except me. When I join in, she goes quiet.
A part of me thinks it is due to becoming friends with the new boy who’s in our team. But he’s friends with her too. I don’t really get it.
Without bragging I don’t think she has the best of lives. Her boyfriend doesn’t sound like a nice person. She’s in a lot of debt and isn’t overly confident in her job. But I still like her and I want to be her friend. But she doesn’t really seem that bothered. She just seems off and distant.
I’ve learnt this year that work friends are temporary most of the time so I guess I won’t be chasing for it and just leave it with her. So at least I’ve learnt something but still need to work on being wary and not so friendly with new people.