Humans are strange creatures.
Theres a girl at work who was originally one of my favourites. She’s so lovely and kind to everyone.
But more recently, I’ve noticed a change in her behaviour.
Since she’s got this new boyfriend. She pays for everything as he has no job which is fine but he bought a new car after he lost his job.
Who buys a new car when they’ve lost their job? Especially when their current car is find? Hmmm. She’s now paying for that car.
She now has no money. And regularly organises nights out but drops out on the day due to money or just wanting to see her boyfriend.
She did this last Friday when we were going to a friend of ours for dinner. I’m not gonna lie, I had a word. You can’t change plans on the day at someone’s house. It’s just rude.
Now she’s avoiding me. I wasn’t horrible, I just said she needs to think of other people when cancelling plans.
She’s in the wrong and hiding. I’m not angry or annoyed. She’s making it worse than it is as she’s probably embarrassed. Hope this sorts itself out soon.
Tuesday was fun. I was a very grumpy lady all day and I have no idea why.
I keep blaming work and how I hate my job and the people I’m surrounded by all day.
But really, I think it’s me.
I just don’t feel happy in my head and its starting to become a problem. I use to think I was a happy person but not at all recently.
Is something wrong? Who knows.
I’m just trying my best to get through the day and that’s all anyone can do. Their best.
I cheered myself up by seeing an old friend and going to the cinema. We saw a film called the shallows which has the gorgeous Blake Lively in.
Massive girl crush although my highlight of the film was Steven the seagull. What a babe.
Its important to have things to look forward to.
I went away this weekend with some friends.
The idea of it terrified me. The thought of being on show all weekend and having nowhere to hide.
I had no boyfriend to cuddle up to either as he’s away for a few weeks.
He told me two things. Be brave and be positive. So that’s what I did.
Unlike some, one of the humans I got a lift with and was sharing a tent with was a miserable moo all weekend. So I tried to keep away .
It’s amazing what a few drinks can do to make you feel good.
It was a nice enough weekend. Was good for me to be social without hiding behind my boyfriend. My friends are my friends.
I had nothing to worry about really. My life story eh?
One regret – getting a bit too drunk one night. I hit my peak and was loving life.
Went over peak and ended up in tears. I was in tears cos I missed my boy. I must like him or something.
I learnt that its ok to be a bit scared sometimes. As long as you’re brave and get through it positively.
I also learnt that even the happiest of people need a few off days.
Travelling home from a few days away was fun. Not.
Everyone knows about Friday traffic. Or so I thought. Between 4 – 7 is traffic central. People are leaving early for their weekends or going away for the weekend.
So what time do we leave on Friday? 5pm. Right in the middle of Friday traffic!!! Urgh.
I got told off for being grumpy about it. Of course I was grumpy about it. It doubled our journey by 2 and a half hours. PLUS we were dropping off one of my friends to their boyfriend’s house who lives half an hour away so it was even longer.
Apparently she didn’t want to inconvenience him. Didnt think about us though did ya? Selfish.
Worst part was I didn’t know we were doing that. If I knew, I would of taken my own car and left at 2 or 3 and definitely not detoured to someone’s house half an hour away.
Rant over. Sorry
I’m going away for a few days tonight. You would think I was excited to not be at work or to spend some time with some of my closest friends. Nope.
I’m anxious. My anxiety is kicking in.
I’m going with three people. My boyfriend and my two best friends. I know I’m safe. Especially with my boyfriend and oldest friend. They get me.
It’s more the third friend. She’s great, I do love her to bits. She’s hilarious and lots of fun but she’s just not the person to go to if I’m feeling unsure or having an anxiety attack. She doesn’t believe in mental health. Her words were “mental health isn’t real, if you can’t see it it’s not there”
It hit a nerve.
It’s just so ignorant and flat out wrong. How else would you explain my silly worries over nothing? My feelings for being scared of nothing? What about all the people who are locked away in psychiatric units? What about that poor girl in Orlando who was shot by a mental person?
I know I should forget about it and move on but I’m finding it difficult. I have to spend 2 and a half days with a person who won’t understand if my mood changes or I’m not myself.
For all I know, I’m worrying about nothing and there won’t be anything to kick off about. We might have a really nice, fun time. That’s what I hope.
I know I’m being silly, I can’t help these thoughts.
I should concentrate on the fact that we have people in our life for different reasons. So, I can still friends with this person but maybe she can be the person I go to if I want to have fun or laugh lots.
I wish I could just close my mind sometimes. Like have an off button. That would be useful.
I thought I was just over-thinking things, maybe I am… but there’s definitely something that doesn’t feel right.
I said recently that a girl at work who’s still fairly new seemed really friendly and nice. We get on quite well and went to lunch together but recently, she’s completely gone off me as if I’ve done something bad.
Now I know I have. Because it’s just getting worse. She’s very quiet throughout the day which is unlike her as she’s a loud, chatty person. She doesn’t include me in the tea&coffee round anymore which I think is quite petty.
I haven’t done anything wrong though. My instinct just tells me that she’s jealous. I’ve been here awhile and have my feet under the desk. I get on well with the majority of people and her team leader likes me more than her.
Reminds me of my school years when other girls became bitter due to certain girls getting more attention or thinking they’re better. I don’t think I’m better than anyone but I’m certainly not going to stop being myself. I’m a friendly, confident person. I like chatting to people.
I haven’t said anything to anyone at work as I don’t want to cause any unnecessary drama but it’s just quite pathetic. I thought she was going to be a good friend as we had a lot in common. Clearly not.
Any ideas on how I can make this better?
Back to one of my previous posts about who are your real friends? Still having a similar problem at work. I think maybe I’m too nice and think the best of people.
A girl who started a few months ago who started off being really nice, the sort of person who was going to become a quick close friend has recently started acting a bit off.
I have no idea why but she’s not coming to any social gatherings, not even coming to the pub on a Friday lunchtime which I know she loves doing. She’s isolating herself and chatting to everyone in our room except me. When I join in, she goes quiet.
A part of me thinks it is due to becoming friends with the new boy who’s in our team. But he’s friends with her too. I don’t really get it.
Without bragging I don’t think she has the best of lives. Her boyfriend doesn’t sound like a nice person. She’s in a lot of debt and isn’t overly confident in her job. But I still like her and I want to be her friend. But she doesn’t really seem that bothered. She just seems off and distant.
I’ve learnt this year that work friends are temporary most of the time so I guess I won’t be chasing for it and just leave it with her. So at least I’ve learnt something but still need to work on being wary and not so friendly with new people.
Baby steps 🙂