anxiety

All posts tagged anxiety

Journey on a train

Published March 25, 2018 by katee124

I travelled up to Wolverhampton this weekend to catch up with a friend. Which was lovely.

I got the train there & back as I thought it be nice to chill & not worry about getting there.

I had forgotten how bad the trains can be sometimes. Both ways I’ve been delayed. One by a fire which fair enough, you can’t do anything about! But it was delayed by 45 mins whilst being on the train & standing as there weren’t any seats.

I like to think I’m fairly fit but even I was in a bit of feet pain from standing. Why do they allow so many people on a train? It’s horrible being squished.

I also think it’s important to keep us updated so you can let your family/friends know. Especially if they’re waiting for you or picking you up from the other side.

I did make a few friends from Macclesfield which was nice. I like chatting to strangers on the train & learning their story.

Coming back home, it’s been delayed due to a speeding restriction which has delayed so far by the 10 mins which I can deal with.

What I can’t deal with is again the lack of seats & how horrifically busy the train is. I’m currently sat in the bike shed of the train on the floor listening to a baby screaming so apologies for the rant!

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Stubbornness

Published March 20, 2018 by katee124

I’m feeling this quote this morning.

I see stubbornness as a good thing. For me anyway. For example, I played twister over the weekend with friends which I haven’t done in years.

I had forgotten how tiring & difficult it can be but thanks to being stubborn, I powered through it and won.

Or with my new job, stubborn to do a good job and not to give it up just yet despite the frustrations & annoyance of new colleagues.

It can also work with relationships. I like to think I’ve managed to keep my boyfriend through constantly planning our weekends, nagging him & pestering. Pushing through the not so good parts knowing there will be better days for us.

Obviously it can be bad too if you have a bad attitude & are sticking with it or refusing to back down from a fight which should of never been a fight.

But as the quote says, sometimes in life… all you can do is hold on.

Stubborn – adjective- having it showing dogged determination not to change ones attitude or position on something. Especially in spite of good reasons to do so.

Morning moaning moans

Published March 19, 2018 by katee124

Well it’s been awhile since I’ve blogged.

Life has been difficult the last few months with boy trouble, quitting my job, finding a new one & being diagnosed with anxiety.

But, we’re at the end of the tunnel I hope, new job is going well so far. Things are looking up with the boy & through therapy, I’m dealing with the voices in my head.

I’m feeling pretty positive. It made me realise how you never know what’s going on with people. In their heads, hearts, at home or work. Always be kind.

What I’ve also realised is how much people complain…..

I had friends over at the weekend & all some of them did was just moan.

Moaning about the weather. Moaning about their work. Moaning about being on a diet. Moaning about being tired. Moaning about their partner. Moaning about being single. Etc etc.

Sometimes you need a good moan, I’m s big believer in that. But there’s a time & a place like over a bottle of wine with your bestie.

Not at a house party where people want to have fun & be happy.

Maybe I should of been brave enough to ask them to leave but no one needs the drama.

I just hope I’m not a hypocrite. Going to work on being less moany. No more morning moaning moans.

Own worst enemy

Published September 10, 2017 by katee124

Sometimes the bravest thing to do is be yourself. 

I find this hard. Even though I have a great, support network – I just feel I’m not as good as others. 

Low self esteem for ya, plus I’m naturally a negative thinker. I’m very good at focusing on the bad. 

I need to focus on the good. Because life is good, I need to relax my mind and breathe. Breathe & just chill. Why is it so hard? 

Any tips on relaxing, I’m listening. 

Parents

Published October 25, 2016 by katee124

The above photo was me this morning. 

Mum & I haven’t been getting on very well the last few weeks. 

She calls me high maintenance and I think she’s a negative influence. 

You should choose your fights carefully but its difficult. 

She doesn’t understand my anxieties and I’m expected to just get on with life as I’m the stable child apparently. 

My little brother currently has a sore back from whiplash so he can’t move around much but can go clubbing? Hmm. 

He’s also at a shitty job which he chose. He has a psycho girlfriend which he chose. Who has a baby with another man whilst dating him which he’s now choosing to bring up. 

See a pattern? He chose these things and he says he’s happy for it which is great but he’s still the special one. 

The older I get, the more I get fed up of this and feel myself distancing away from my family.

I really can’t wait to have my own place. 

On a lighter note, I’m very lucky to have such a lovely, supportive boyfriend and some great friends who keep me in check. 

Plain stupid or is there something wrong? 

Published September 12, 2016 by katee124

I recently went to a party on a Friday night. 

It was going well. Few drinks, good company and a Chinese takeaway for dinner, yum. 

Then the game “cards against humanity” came out…. 

I hate this game. Not because I’m sensitive, but because it reminds me how I felt at school.

Reading in front of the class and mispronouncing words or not knowing what they mean. 

It sucked. Big time. 

I mispronounced a word and everyone laughed. Yes I’m being sensitive but it upset me. School was tough for me and it hit a sore spot. 

I wasn’t even sly about it, they all knew it upset me. 

It just made me think “am I stupid or is there something wrong?” 

I’ve always struggled with the English language. Especially pronouncing words, it just gets a bit muddled in my head.

Does this mean I have a type of dyslexia? I don’t know. 

Can any of you out there offer any advice?