I recently had an annual review at work and was told I need to work on my maturity for work and personal
What does that mean?
Well, for personal to me it means growing up and pushing myself out of my comfort zone as much as I hate it because deep down, its good for you and you learn from it and become better.
Becoming less shy and timid and just going for it and to stop apologising for being me because I’m great and the world should know about it.
Work maturity, to me means behaving professionally and making the best of situations. Analysing them and removing myself if bad and managing others.
I need to change how I think and become more business oriented. Challenge accepted.
Now lets go out and own this weekend 🙂
The above photo was me this morning.
Mum & I haven’t been getting on very well the last few weeks.
She calls me high maintenance and I think she’s a negative influence.
You should choose your fights carefully but its difficult.
She doesn’t understand my anxieties and I’m expected to just get on with life as I’m the stable child apparently.
My little brother currently has a sore back from whiplash so he can’t move around much but can go clubbing? Hmm.
He’s also at a shitty job which he chose. He has a psycho girlfriend which he chose. Who has a baby with another man whilst dating him which he’s now choosing to bring up.
See a pattern? He chose these things and he says he’s happy for it which is great but he’s still the special one.
The older I get, the more I get fed up of this and feel myself distancing away from my family.
I really can’t wait to have my own place.
On a lighter note, I’m very lucky to have such a lovely, supportive boyfriend and some great friends who keep me in check.
Humans are strange creatures.
Theres a girl at work who was originally one of my favourites. She’s so lovely and kind to everyone.
But more recently, I’ve noticed a change in her behaviour.
Since she’s got this new boyfriend. She pays for everything as he has no job which is fine but he bought a new car after he lost his job.
Who buys a new car when they’ve lost their job? Especially when their current car is find? Hmmm. She’s now paying for that car.
She now has no money. And regularly organises nights out but drops out on the day due to money or just wanting to see her boyfriend.
She did this last Friday when we were going to a friend of ours for dinner. I’m not gonna lie, I had a word. You can’t change plans on the day at someone’s house. It’s just rude.
Now she’s avoiding me. I wasn’t horrible, I just said she needs to think of other people when cancelling plans.
She’s in the wrong and hiding. I’m not angry or annoyed. She’s making it worse than it is as she’s probably embarrassed. Hope this sorts itself out soon.
Hi there, its been awhile since I wrote a post.
Been busy with holidays and work.
Back at work, I’m just looking around and I like to think I get on with the majority of people.
I’m quite shy deep down so I try and practice my people skills when I can but some people I just can’t click with.
One of those people unfortunately is my manager. We just don’t get eachother at all. He’s Mr army who doesn’t do feelings or anything personal. He’s all business. Whereas I’m full of feelings and being personal. I’m also slightly high maintenance and like to be told I’m doing a good job which he doesn’t do.
I don’t think I’m that hard work. I just like reassurance that I’m doing ok. But with him, no news is good news.
It’s taken about 3 years but I think or hope I’ve finally accepted that not everyone is going to like you and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Just concentrate on those you love and those who love you back.
I recently went to a party on a Friday night.
It was going well. Few drinks, good company and a Chinese takeaway for dinner, yum.
Then the game “cards against humanity” came out….
I hate this game. Not because I’m sensitive, but because it reminds me how I felt at school.
Reading in front of the class and mispronouncing words or not knowing what they mean.
It sucked. Big time.
I mispronounced a word and everyone laughed. Yes I’m being sensitive but it upset me. School was tough for me and it hit a sore spot.
I wasn’t even sly about it, they all knew it upset me.
It just made me think “am I stupid or is there something wrong?”
I’ve always struggled with the English language. Especially pronouncing words, it just gets a bit muddled in my head.
Does this mean I have a type of dyslexia? I don’t know.
Can any of you out there offer any advice?
Tuesday was fun. I was a very grumpy lady all day and I have no idea why.
I keep blaming work and how I hate my job and the people I’m surrounded by all day.
But really, I think it’s me.
I just don’t feel happy in my head and its starting to become a problem. I use to think I was a happy person but not at all recently.
Is something wrong? Who knows.
I’m just trying my best to get through the day and that’s all anyone can do. Their best.
I cheered myself up by seeing an old friend and going to the cinema. We saw a film called the shallows which has the gorgeous Blake Lively in.
Massive girl crush although my highlight of the film was Steven the seagull. What a babe.
Its important to have things to look forward to.
I went away this weekend with some friends.
The idea of it terrified me. The thought of being on show all weekend and having nowhere to hide.
I had no boyfriend to cuddle up to either as he’s away for a few weeks.
He told me two things. Be brave and be positive. So that’s what I did.
Unlike some, one of the humans I got a lift with and was sharing a tent with was a miserable moo all weekend. So I tried to keep away .
It’s amazing what a few drinks can do to make you feel good.
It was a nice enough weekend. Was good for me to be social without hiding behind my boyfriend. My friends are my friends.
I had nothing to worry about really. My life story eh?
One regret – getting a bit too drunk one night. I hit my peak and was loving life.
Went over peak and ended up in tears. I was in tears cos I missed my boy. I must like him or something.
I learnt that its ok to be a bit scared sometimes. As long as you’re brave and get through it positively.
I also learnt that even the happiest of people need a few off days.