Hi there, its been awhile since I wrote a post.
Been busy with holidays and work.
Back at work, I’m just looking around and I like to think I get on with the majority of people.
I’m quite shy deep down so I try and practice my people skills when I can but some people I just can’t click with.
One of those people unfortunately is my manager. We just don’t get eachother at all. He’s Mr army who doesn’t do feelings or anything personal. He’s all business. Whereas I’m full of feelings and being personal. I’m also slightly high maintenance and like to be told I’m doing a good job which he doesn’t do.
I don’t think I’m that hard work. I just like reassurance that I’m doing ok. But with him, no news is good news.
It’s taken about 3 years but I think or hope I’ve finally accepted that not everyone is going to like you and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Just concentrate on those you love and those who love you back.
I recently went to a party on a Friday night.
It was going well. Few drinks, good company and a Chinese takeaway for dinner, yum.
Then the game “cards against humanity” came out….
I hate this game. Not because I’m sensitive, but because it reminds me how I felt at school.
Reading in front of the class and mispronouncing words or not knowing what they mean.
It sucked. Big time.
I mispronounced a word and everyone laughed. Yes I’m being sensitive but it upset me. School was tough for me and it hit a sore spot.
I wasn’t even sly about it, they all knew it upset me.
It just made me think “am I stupid or is there something wrong?”
I’ve always struggled with the English language. Especially pronouncing words, it just gets a bit muddled in my head.
Does this mean I have a type of dyslexia? I don’t know.
Can any of you out there offer any advice?
Tuesday was fun. I was a very grumpy lady all day and I have no idea why.
I keep blaming work and how I hate my job and the people I’m surrounded by all day.
But really, I think it’s me.
I just don’t feel happy in my head and its starting to become a problem. I use to think I was a happy person but not at all recently.
Is something wrong? Who knows.
I’m just trying my best to get through the day and that’s all anyone can do. Their best.
I cheered myself up by seeing an old friend and going to the cinema. We saw a film called the shallows which has the gorgeous Blake Lively in.
Massive girl crush although my highlight of the film was Steven the seagull. What a babe.
Its important to have things to look forward to.
I went away this weekend with some friends.
The idea of it terrified me. The thought of being on show all weekend and having nowhere to hide.
I had no boyfriend to cuddle up to either as he’s away for a few weeks.
He told me two things. Be brave and be positive. So that’s what I did.
Unlike some, one of the humans I got a lift with and was sharing a tent with was a miserable moo all weekend. So I tried to keep away .
It’s amazing what a few drinks can do to make you feel good.
It was a nice enough weekend. Was good for me to be social without hiding behind my boyfriend. My friends are my friends.
I had nothing to worry about really. My life story eh?
One regret – getting a bit too drunk one night. I hit my peak and was loving life.
Went over peak and ended up in tears. I was in tears cos I missed my boy. I must like him or something.
I learnt that its ok to be a bit scared sometimes. As long as you’re brave and get through it positively.
I also learnt that even the happiest of people need a few off days.
Everyone has their down days. But it’s true, you do need to move on.
I found out today that my brother who’s learning to drive, had a crash in mum’s car.
Straight away, it brought back all these horrible memories and my anxiety about driving.
Obviously this isn’t about me. Its about my brother and he’s ok. He’s a lot stronger than me mentally.
It just made me think. Who do you talk to your feelings about?
I come from quite a hard, negative family whereas if you feel sad, you just get on with it.
Which isn’t a bad thing. It makes you strong but sometimes you need a moment.
Being sad doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.
Not everyone understands mental health. Not everyone can help but they mean well. They don’t want you sad. They want you to be fun and excitable.
Definitely not. Unless you’re close. Day to day people just don’t care. Which sucks but that’s how it is.
Once you leave work, you won’t hear from them again.
Yeah,maybe. Supportive and kind. Available for cuddles and love. Similar to friends, wants you to be happy.
I guess this post was just to say be sad but try not to let it beat you.
I’ll never be able to do the last one but I can try on the others.
Number 1 is going very well, especially at work. I never realised I was surrounded by such petty people.
Its not even half 9 yet this morning and already one person is moaning about being told to water the plants as she overfed them.
“I never asked to do it, I was volunteered”. Dude, take some responsibility. No one cares if you want to do it or not. You’ve said you would so deal with it.
Don’t guilt trip me into thinking I should do it.
This is the same person who winds me up on a day to day basis. She’s a waste of time. She wants to be number one in all the guy’s eyes and doesn’t want us employing more women.
Urgh. I really dislike her. Which is a shame as I liked her when she first started.
Shame how opinions can change.
It’s Friday woohoo. It’s been a very long week.
Currently sat in the office minding my own business. This girl who sits near me is winding me up.
Every time I speak to a man, I’m accused of having an affair with them or flirting with them. Its driving me mad.
I don’t care what she thinks. She means nothing to me. I just hate girls who just want every single bit of attention from the opposite sex.
Stop making me feel awkward for speaking to someone.
Have some respect. Have some class and stop accusing me of things which have nothing to do with you. #doone