Today has been a pretty bad day for me.
Started off this morning fine, thinking “halfway through the week, woohoo”
Got to work and it just wasn’t playing ball.
This nasty girl I sit near was on form, she was arguing with me every time I opened my mouth. I could of said the world was shaped like a ball and she would of argued it was a square.
She’s so aggressive & intimidating, it makes me feel uncomfortable. It makes me angry that certain people just let her get away with it.
Then…. My manager took me aside and said she was disappointed in me and thinks I need to mature which she has said before but unfortunately it doesn’t happen overnight.
Kick a girl whilst she’s down eh?
I guess I was just feeling emotional today. My lenses were playing up but more importantly, I feel isolated at work. I feel like I can’t talk or trust anyone without it backfiring.
Hey ho. just a bad day. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
I came home, watched me before you and had a good cry which always helps 🙂
annoying, appreciation, bugs, change, life, lifelessons, mental, overthinking, problems, work, workhard
I’ve been good lately. Too good. Until yesterday.
Had a bit of a moment in the bath. Suddenly released what I’ve become so good at blocking in my mind.
I felt extremely stressed, overwhelmed and exhausted.
It’s not easy to get out of so here’s a list I wrote of things to be grateful about.
– flowers, they’re so pretty and yes they die but then you can more prettiness
– cats, so fluffy and purry and cute
– love, its lovely when someone loves you and you love then. Relationships, friendships, family
– makeup, nothing a bit of lipstick can’t do to make you own the day
– rivers, with all their animals and plants and boats
– food, creme eggs chicken nuggets Turkey dinosaurs sausages smoky bacon crisps
– smiles 🙂
That will do for now.
My sinuses have been playing up alot the last few weeks so have been in bed poorly.
It has made me feel very useless
I tried helping out today by putting up Christmas decorations, emptying the bins & putting some washing on
I got told by my darling mother that I had put the decorations wrong and they look silly.
I got told that I should of separated stuff to recycle and I hadn’t put all the washing on
I’m not being a brat but where’s the thank you for attempting? I’m sorry I’m not as bloody perfect as my mother.
I love her to bits but she does my nut in sometimes. She doesn’t help with my confidence or anxiety
I recently had an annual review at work and was told I need to work on my maturity for work and personal
What does that mean?
Well, for personal to me it means growing up and pushing myself out of my comfort zone as much as I hate it because deep down, its good for you and you learn from it and become better.
Becoming less shy and timid and just going for it and to stop apologising for being me because I’m great and the world should know about it.
Work maturity, to me means behaving professionally and making the best of situations. Analysing them and removing myself if bad and managing others.
I need to change how I think and become more business oriented. Challenge accepted.
Now lets go out and own this weekend 🙂
The above photo was me this morning.
Mum & I haven’t been getting on very well the last few weeks.
She calls me high maintenance and I think she’s a negative influence.
You should choose your fights carefully but its difficult.
She doesn’t understand my anxieties and I’m expected to just get on with life as I’m the stable child apparently.
My little brother currently has a sore back from whiplash so he can’t move around much but can go clubbing? Hmm.
He’s also at a shitty job which he chose. He has a psycho girlfriend which he chose. Who has a baby with another man whilst dating him which he’s now choosing to bring up.
See a pattern? He chose these things and he says he’s happy for it which is great but he’s still the special one.
The older I get, the more I get fed up of this and feel myself distancing away from my family.
I really can’t wait to have my own place.
On a lighter note, I’m very lucky to have such a lovely, supportive boyfriend and some great friends who keep me in check.
Humans are strange creatures.
Theres a girl at work who was originally one of my favourites. She’s so lovely and kind to everyone.
But more recently, I’ve noticed a change in her behaviour.
Since she’s got this new boyfriend. She pays for everything as he has no job which is fine but he bought a new car after he lost his job.
Who buys a new car when they’ve lost their job? Especially when their current car is find? Hmmm. She’s now paying for that car.
She now has no money. And regularly organises nights out but drops out on the day due to money or just wanting to see her boyfriend.
She did this last Friday when we were going to a friend of ours for dinner. I’m not gonna lie, I had a word. You can’t change plans on the day at someone’s house. It’s just rude.
Now she’s avoiding me. I wasn’t horrible, I just said she needs to think of other people when cancelling plans.
She’s in the wrong and hiding. I’m not angry or annoyed. She’s making it worse than it is as she’s probably embarrassed. Hope this sorts itself out soon.
Hi there, its been awhile since I wrote a post.
Been busy with holidays and work.
Back at work, I’m just looking around and I like to think I get on with the majority of people.
I’m quite shy deep down so I try and practice my people skills when I can but some people I just can’t click with.
One of those people unfortunately is my manager. We just don’t get eachother at all. He’s Mr army who doesn’t do feelings or anything personal. He’s all business. Whereas I’m full of feelings and being personal. I’m also slightly high maintenance and like to be told I’m doing a good job which he doesn’t do.
I don’t think I’m that hard work. I just like reassurance that I’m doing ok. But with him, no news is good news.
It’s taken about 3 years but I think or hope I’ve finally accepted that not everyone is going to like you and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Just concentrate on those you love and those who love you back.