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What & where?

Published October 17, 2017 by katee124

I don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m at these days. 

I change my mind very quickly & never know which direction or choice to make. It’s scary, life is scary. You can make one decision & it can affect the rest of your life. 

This adulting life is bloody terrifying but I like to think deep down that we’re thinking & feeling the same. Some obviously deal with it or hide it better than others whereas some just completely lose it & turn into bad eggs. 

I’m not really sure what I’m trying to say. I guess, you’re not alone. Keep going, keep trying. It will be ok in the end, and if it’s not ok, then its not the end. 

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Own worst enemy

Published September 10, 2017 by katee124

Sometimes the bravest thing to do is be yourself. 

I find this hard. Even though I have a great, support network – I just feel I’m not as good as others. 

Low self esteem for ya, plus I’m naturally a negative thinker. I’m very good at focusing on the bad. 

I need to focus on the good. Because life is good, I need to relax my mind and breathe. Breathe & just chill. Why is it so hard? 

Any tips on relaxing, I’m listening. 

Trust yourself

Published May 24, 2017 by katee124

Long time no see. 

Its important to be able to trust yourself as at the end of the day, you are all you have. 

Just today alone I’ve had a few experiences where I’ve been made to feel bad about just acting as myself or feeling a certain way or even voting for a certain party in a certain election. 

My message here is, you do you. No matter what. It’s alot easier to be you than pretend other wise. 

Everyone is different, sure but we’re all our own people with our own thoughts, feelings and decisions. 

The amount of abuse I’ve seen lately about people voting for parties in this election is horrendous. 

The important thing is to vote. Vote for who you believe in or their policies. Everyone is in a different situation hence the different parties. 

Please stop the hate. Encourage to vote. Encourage to educate unbiased information. The BBC website is perfect for this. 

There’s too much hate these days, let in the light. 

Bad day

Published February 1, 2017 by katee124

Today has been a pretty bad day for me.

Started off this morning fine, thinking “halfway through the week, woohoo”

Got to work and it just wasn’t playing ball.

This nasty girl I sit near was on form, she was arguing with me every time I opened my mouth. I could of said the world was shaped like a ball and she would of argued it was a square. 

She’s so aggressive & intimidating, it makes me feel uncomfortable. It makes me angry that certain people just let her get away with it. 

Then…. My manager took me aside and said she was disappointed in me and thinks I need to mature which she has said before but unfortunately it doesn’t happen overnight.

Kick a girl whilst she’s down eh? 

I guess I was just feeling emotional today. My lenses were playing up but more importantly, I feel isolated at work. I feel like I can’t talk or trust anyone without it backfiring. 

Hey ho. just a bad day. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. 

I came home, watched me before you and had a good cry which always helps 🙂 

Grateful

Published January 20, 2017 by katee124

I’ve been good lately. Too good. Until yesterday. 

Had a bit of a moment in the bath. Suddenly released what I’ve become so good at blocking in my mind. 

I felt extremely stressed, overwhelmed and exhausted. 

It’s not easy to get out of so here’s a list I wrote of things to be grateful about. 

– flowers, they’re so pretty and yes they die but then you can more prettiness

– cats, so fluffy and purry and cute 

– love, its lovely when someone loves you and you love then. Relationships, friendships, family

– music 

– makeup, nothing a bit of lipstick can’t do to make you own the day 

– rivers, with all their animals and plants and boats 

– food, creme eggs chicken nuggets Turkey dinosaurs sausages smoky bacon crisps 

– smiles 🙂 

– clouds 

That will do for now. 

Useless

Published December 8, 2016 by katee124

My sinuses have been playing up alot the last few weeks so have been in bed poorly.

It has made me feel very useless  

I tried helping out today by putting up Christmas decorations, emptying the bins & putting some washing on  

I got told by my darling mother that I had put the decorations wrong and they look silly.

I got told that I should of separated stuff to recycle and I hadn’t put all the washing on  

I’m not being a brat but where’s the thank you for attempting? I’m sorry I’m not as bloody perfect as my mother.

I love her to bits but she does my nut in sometimes. She doesn’t help with my confidence or anxiety